The Misadventures of Vladek Svart
by bettershadowshawk
Summary: Some of you may already hate him, and others are about to: introducing the absolutely true and unvarnished story of alleged former mercenary turned trainee huntsman Vladek P. Svart. See how this guy fits into Beacon (or, more accurately, how he fails to). AU of an AU.


"I still don't think it's a good idea. He's a new student, it's the middle of the year- not to mention his record…"  
"Glynda. We've taken plenty of students in the past with unusual or dark records before. It's not like our record review process missed something. We know exactly what we're expecting with mister…"

Professor Ozpin, Headmaster of Beacon Academy, peered through his black-rimmed spectacles at the scroll in front of him. A look of confused concern spread across his face as he took a sip from his mug.

"…Svart? Am I saying that right?"

Glynda sighed. "Yes. Vladek Svart, 20 years old. He claims to be a former mercenary and to have killed before, and we have no records of his whereabouts for the last few years. According to records that he himself provided his semblance is nearly uncontrollable. I honestly couldn't say why we're even considering this… miscreant!"

Glynda slammed her hands down on the desk, scattering the pens and scrolls laid across it. Ozpin looked her firmly in the eyes until she took a step back. Not breaking eye contact, he calmly continued.

"Read between the lines, Glynda. What I see is a young man, lost and forced to fend for himself. Perhaps he fell in with the wrong group, or maybe he simply feels the need to impress us with his accomplishments. This is a young man who could use guidance, and possibly a firm hand showing him the way."

Glynda didn't look convinced. "But a mercenary? Suppose someone outside the school makes him an offer? Do we just let a potential security risk go unchecked?"

"Of course not. He won't go unobserved… and perhaps someone like this is what this school will need. After all," Ozpin said, standing and turning towards his office elevator just as the doors opened with a soft ding, "there are dark times ahead of us."

A veritable giant of a man stepped out. Fully 6 foot 9 inches tall with a powerful build, he peered out from under his sloped, hypermasculine brow with piercing green eyes. His violently orange hair was cut short and he had the wispy beginnings of a beard on his chin, sitting as a silent promise that they would never be a REAL beard, but also that the owner would never be able to go a single day without shaving lest the proto-beard emerge again. He wore the normal Beacon academy uniform (size XXL, of course), but as he strode out of the elevator an errant twitch of his massive muscles completely obliterated the sleeves of his uniform. His arms were covered up to the elbow in dark, black gauntlets. The fingers ended in claws and the back of each hand held a mount for massive, bloodred gemstones.

Ozpin and Glynda stared at the boy. He stared at them. They continued staring. Ozpin took a sip of his coffee, nonplussed. The boy- Vladek Svart, for it could be no one else- cleared his throat. In a scratchy, seldom-used voice he intoned his first words to the pair.

"Uh. Sup?"

"Mister Svart, I presume. I'd offer to shake your hand, but I'd like to leave with both of mine intact, as it were." Ozpin's face shifted into a warm smile, while Glynda's remained a stern, disapproving mask. Vladek cracked the beginning of a smile only to have it fade away as Ozpin's expression shifted. He turned away from the boy.

"You understand that this is an… unusual circumstance. We normally don't allow students to join in the middle of a semester, and it is unprecedented to allow them into the school without a partner, let alone without a team. We're making a fair number of exceptions for you, and some of my colleagues disagree with the steps I'm taking. So we're expecting an especially good showing during the test. Your test begins in half an hour. We will reconvene in the courtyard, with you in your combat gear, at that time. Do you have any questions?"

Vladek nodded his head in the negative, then turned to leave. Before he made it all the way to the elevator, Glynda stopped him.

"I have to ask- were the sleeves really necessary?"

Vladek cracked a crude smile. "You like what you see?"

Glynda made a sudden, involuntary expression of disgust before regaining her composure. "Please consider yourself informed that the school DOES offer uniforms in a range of sizes to fit even the largest ego."

While Vladek was considering that, the elevator doors shut.

* * *

An ascending scale chimed throughout Beacon's campus as a schoolwide announcement was made. Ozpin's voice echoed around the school;

"Good morning, students and faculty. I hope you all are enjoying your Saturday. For those of you that are interested, there will be an initiation test for a solo, late-entry student starting in the next ten minutes. Those of you interested in viewing this event may do so in the auditorium. Thank you, and have a pleasant day."

Team RWBY's leader, the plucky and upbeat Ruby Rose, leaned over the edge of her bunk bed to look at her partner and potential-but-not-really (but I really hope she will be!) best friend Weiss Schnee. She was idly sorting through and deleting the numerous unanswered messages on her scroll. She didn't look up when Ruby began to speak.

"I guess I'm not really doing anything today. Wanna watch the trial? Could be funny, I guess."

"And dredge up memories of how poorly coordinated the four of us were back then? No thank you."

"Lighten up, Ice Queen! It's better than sitting around here doing nothing." Yang was lying down on her bed, arms behind her head. She pulled her knees up and kipped off the bed, landing with her hands on her hips and her trademark smirk on her face. "Besides, if it's just ONE student then it's bound to be a strong one, or they'll get clobbered. Either way, we'll learn something."

Ruby jumped down, excited. "Oh, oh! And if she gets in trouble then maybe they'll send out another team to go rescue her! It could be us! And we could make a great first impression and maybe a new friend and-"

Weiss cut her off sharply, switching off her scroll and sitting up to face the two sisters. "It's not like it's a lost pet, Ruby! Besides, it's not like we're going to take the guy on as a fifth team member. It simply isn't how things work here."

Blake didn't bother looking up from her book as she spoke. "It is kind of interesting that they'd let anyone join solo at all. It'd make more sense and be much easier on the guy if he just waited for the next semester."

"Wait, did they say he was a guy? I kind of assumed it was a girl." Ruby scratched her head as she spoke.

"Who cares? And for the record, if we WERE to recruit a fifth team member, it would be Zwei," Yang said.

"Can I veto?" asked Blake. A chorus of three voices instantly rebutted with a firm "No!"

The room was silent for a moment before Ruby spoke again. "So, uh. Are we gonna go or not?"

The rest of the group muttered affirmations as they headed out the door.

* * *

Vladek Svart glanced out the open hatch in the side of the Bullhead, looking down at the forest several hundred feet below. He'd changed into his preferred combat garb, heavy black combat boots with blue jeans and a grey t-shirt emblazoned with a skull. He wore his gauntlets as well as a travelworn leather jacket, the sleeves blown out from his massive frame. His eyes were hidden behind a pair of black sunglasses, and his weapon- a massive, mechanical battlaxe as tall as he was- was holstered on his back. He had one hand on his weapon, and the other on one of the cargo straps hanging from the ceiling, keeping him from blowing out the side of the aircraft. His jacket and hair blew in the wind, whipping about every which way.

Professor Ozpin stood next to him, his scarf and hair similarly blowing about. He had to shout for the boy to hear. "Your mission is to enter the forest below, and retrieve a relic hidden within. How you do so doesn't concern me. Return to the top of the cliff," and at this Ozpin pointed with his mug towards a large cliff overlooking the woods, "with your relic before sundown and you will have successfully completed the test."

Svart nodded, scanning the woods for a patch of flat ground for the VTOL to touch down on. "Understood. Where's the landing zone?"

"There isn't one. The test starts now."

Vladek half-nodded before processing what Ozpin had said. He turned to look into the stony eyes of the headmaster before glancing around the cabin. He saw Glynda, sitting calmly on one of the bench seats around the edge, but no sign of anything else in the plane. "So, uh, what do I get for the landing? A parachute? Jetpack? Wing suit? A very small helicopter? "

Ozpin shook his head no, gently dispelling the faint feeling of déjà vu. "You will have to find your own landing strategy." He nodded at Glynda, who subtlety drew her wand and pointed it at the boy.

"Well how am I supposed to f-" Vladek's words were cut off as Glynda slammed a blast of force into the boy, catapulting him out of the aircraft and into free fall. Ozpin glanced down after him, watching him fall until the hatch closed. Glynda sat with a satisfied smirk on her face while Ozpin sighed.

"Every year there's one who didn't prepare for the fall. You'd think with a class of one person, it might be a little different."

* * *

Vladek fell, flailing his arms and legs helplessly as he tumbled through the air. He tried first to swim in it, but failed to gain any traction. The combined weight of his gear and him put him at nearly 400 lbs, so he was about as aerodynamic as a brick house. He finally tumbled to the bright idea of sticking his hands in his jacket pockets and extending his arms, like wings. His fall stabilized and soon he was falling in a more controlled manner.

"I'm flyin'!" He exclaimed, in shock and surprise that were rapidly turning to joy. "I'm really fly- OOF"

He landed stomach first, at terminal velocity, on a tree branch, which partially arrested his fall. As did every subsequent branch on the way down to the ground, which finally stopped him completely- though not before he left a sizable crater in the earth below. He wheezed for a few seconds before he had enough air to vocalize his next thought.

"Guess it was more like falling with style. Heh. Ow, ow, ow…"

* * *

"TEAM RWBY! WE SAVED YOU SOME SEE~EEATS! OVER HERE! OVER HERE RUBY!" Nora had jumped from her chair and was gesticulating wildly at the four seats next to team JNPR. After being shushed loudly from all directions, Nora stopped her shouting. Team RWBY took their seats next to their friends.

The screen showed a massive bear of a man covered in pine needles trying to get off the forest floor. Ruby leaned over to her friends and stage-whispered "What'd we miss?"

Pyrrha Nikos leaned back in towards her and replied, "We finally found someone who is worse at landing than Jaune!"

"I'm sitting right here, Pyrrha."

Ruby and Pyrrha both looked at the ground, embarrassed. Jaune coughed and spoke again.

"It's true, though."

Vladek stomped through the forest, irritated invective spewing from his mouth as he dropped the now-shattered remains of his sunglasses. "Mssrfrukign FOREST fkrgn stpd shgz HEADMASTER rghmsz frghz GRIMM fdasf- huh?"

His train of thought was interrupted by a growl by what could loosely be defined as one of the Grimm. It resembled a Beowulf in the same way that puppies resembled dogs, barely coming up to the height of his foot. Svart grinned, focusing his intense eyes on the beast that was ferociously attacking his shoelaces. "Just like football practice."

The Miniscule Beowulf howled as it flew through the air. Vladek tracked it as it flew above the treeline until he lost sight of it. A moment later he heard that satisfying thumping noise of it smacking to the ground. He wiped his hands together, nodded once and started on his merry way.

When the rest of the pack attacked mere seconds later he was completely surprised.

* * *

"Grimm are attracted to negative emotions. While it would have been foolish to leave the beast to attack, there was no need to dispatch of it so cruelly. Between the beast's shriek of pain and his own flash of emotion, he is acting like a beacon for every Grimm in that forest." Lie Ren spoke in even tones, critical of the young man's performance.

"Seriously. Does this guy know the first thing about fighting Grimm?" Yang pointed angrily towards the screen as Vladek was ambushed from multiple angles by waves and waves of the horrible wolves. "He hasn't even drawn his actual weapon, he's just using the dumb claws on the gauntlets."

"Maybe it has something to do with his Semblance?" Blake suggested.

"He calls his Semblance 'Berserc,' according to his dossier." Weiss was reading directly from her scroll. She clicked her tongue disapprovingly as she read. "In addition to horrendous power of his numerous spelling errors, it says he gets stronger as he gets angrier. So, like Yang's Semblance, but without the fire."

"He is NOTHING like me. For one, he's relying exclusively on his anger to fight. He never learned to do it the right way, so he's got not reflexes to fall back on. He's just reckless. At this rate, he's going to lose an arm!"

Yang sat down, clearly miffed. The group turned back towards the screen and continued watching.

* * *

Vladek pulled the Beowulf off his back, twisting and pulling the lighter creature into a textbook judo throw. He screamed at the next one before rushing at it with his claws extended. The beast pulled back at the last second, and two more slammed into him from either side. He twisted in a circle, his claws extended to cut both of the beasts, but the pack fighters didn't fall for his wild-beast tactics. Breathing heavily, he charged the nearest enemy, catching its mask with his gauntlet and pulling it into a vicious headbutt.

The Grimm's mask cracked under the immense power of his thick brow, destroying the creature. Unfortunately, he left himself open for attack by two more of the wolves, who clawed at his back and shredded his leather jacket.

"THAT DOES IT! YOU MOTHERFUCKERS ARE GOING DOWN!" He gripped the handle of his axe, bringing it down with one hand and blowing away a cloud of debris around the area of impact. He hefted the heavy device up onto his shoulder with one hand, brandishing two fingers of his other hand in a gesture that could mean nothing other than to 'bring it on.'

The seven remaining Beowulves charged him he couldn't hit a single one as they dodged his huge, telegraphed swing before taking chunks out of him with their claws.

Jaune scratched his head. "You know, with something that menacing looking you think he'd be putting on a better showing."

Ruby stared at the weapon, a calculating look in her eyes. "Weapons with multiple forms like that are hard to master… and trust me, they can be heavy. Judging by the way he's swinging it around, he just packed as much stuff as he could into as big of a package as he could lift. It probably weighs a hundred pounds, easy. Maybe more."

"Wait, it has multiple forms?"

"I can tell by how the joints are constructed and because I've seen quite a few weapons like that in my day." Ruby said, fondly remembering her time constructing weapons with her uncle. "But no, this guy's either a total novice, or thought he's somehow benefit from having an intimidating weapon when fighting against the Grimm."

* * *

Vladek kicked one of the beasts away from him, then grabbed the handle of his massive weapon and spun, throwing the rest off of him. Grabbing the blade with both arms, he engaged the gearing in the blade, causing the front blade of the greataxe to fall back towards the hilt, forming a massive- and easier to swing- greatsword. With a sweeping blow, he slashed two Beowulves to dust.

The pack hunters had dispersed, using the trees as cover. One charged him from behind, causing Vladek to reflexively swing towards it- and while he got the beast, his blade embedded itself halfway through a tree trunk he hadn't intended to cut. Pulling with both hands, he tried to free the blade- but not before another one of the horrible creatures took a chunk out of his arm. Howling in pain, he released his grip from the blade and pivoted, shoving his arm through the beast's chest as though it were made of nothing sturdier than paper.

The three creatures remaining stared at him, their growls mixing with his in a sort of guttural resonance. For a second that felt like an eternity, nothing happened. Then one of the beasts moved towards him, and Vladek grabbed it by the arm and threw it into the other two. Jumping after it, he turned in a circle in midair, mimicking the Beowulves' own movements to slice open one at the neck before stomping on another. He hacked and slashed at the pile with his gauntlets, screaming bloody murder, before finally calming down as the creatures evaporated into nothingness.

He stared at his gauntlets, breathing heavily, before he spat on the spot on the ground where his claws had torn up the grass, leaving deep rents in the material. "That's for making me dirty my gloves. You stupid shitlords."

He turned, and with some effort managed to extract his blade from the tree trunk, dragging it behind him as he walked into the forest.

* * *

The group in the auditorium stared at the screen, open-mouthed at the savagery they just saw. That guy was less of a huntsman and closer to a Grimm himself. Pyrrha was the first to speak.

"I- I'm SURE he's much friendlier in person."


End file.
